What not to do: pocket kings

If you'd like strategy posts, you'll want to read other bloggers. If you want to read anti-strategy posts, I'm probably your guy. I can't tell you what you should do in a given situation, but I can clearly and definitively outline what an awful move would look like.

Exhibit A, early/mid-point of a tourney, 12 out of 17 players remaining:

You've just lost 50% of your chips, when a tight player bluffed you off of top pair (stupid KQ), when the following hand comes up.

You hold KK in the small blind at a 6-handed table. An unpredictable, fundamentally unsound, and possibly legally insane opponent minraises to 600.

You have a little more than 4K in chips, and elect to min-reraise. Why? Because minreraising feels good, because stupid equals comforting. UFUPLI opponent calls.

The flop is J-8-7, rainbow. A bystander who's seen you play a bunch before, and enjoys retarded plays, suggests you should minbet, as a followup to your stellar minraise. You agree, and bet 300. UFUPLI opponent calls. At this point, his range of hands is any two cards 6 or higher, or any suited hearts/clubs/diamonds. You are an idiot for not betting more to protect your hand.

The turn is an ace. With 2K+ in the pot, and 2500 in your stack, you elect to check. Brilliant move.

Your UFUPLI opponent moves all in, quickly. Just as quickly, you call. No, don't stop to think about it. You showed weakness, your opponent overbet, there's a very good chance you have the best hand at this point. After all, you can beat any flopped one pair hand.

Of course he had the ace. Smart players might attempt to bet smaller, to entice a call, but he probably realizes you're an idiot, and a big bet would accomplish his goal of getting all your chips.

He shows you A9o. The river is no help. You stand up, and ask your roommate for a beer.