I hope nobody saw that.

Wow. The hand that busted me out of tonight's $16K guaranteed on Full Tilt was so bad, it hurts my brain to remember. But first, the back-story.

My bankroll on FT is tiny - not quite $200 yet. I've recently discovered the $4 Tier 1 sng's - 9 players, winner gets a $26 tourney chip, 2nd gets $10, third gets the bubble. I've played in three so far, and won twice. Clearly, this is lucky, though I must be doing something right to avoid early exits in these things.

So I thought, why not jump right in? There's a huge $26 tourney tonight, and I have not one, but two tourney chips burning a hole in my virtual pocket.

The $16K Guaranteed looked enticing. 750+ players when I signed up, already over the guarantee. Boobie Lover, Joe Speaker, Factgirl, Gamecock, and PokerNerd were also signed up - I had a few minutes to look for familiar names... I know the real players favor these types of tourneys. 827 entries, all told, so the top 81 divvy up a prize pool of $19.8K.

In every tournament I enter, I want to finish in the money. In this particular one, I was playing at an online buy-in a step or two above where I normally am. I'm the low-limit guy with the small 'roll, happy to take shots at $5 MTT's. This was a slightly larger shot, and I wanted to get a handle on the competition. I play a little scared and tight-weak when I move out of my comfort zone.

Early indicators showed that play would be a little tighter and a little smarter, but foolishness would abound.

I stole the blinds in the second orbit with 98o, raising from the cutoff. This hand would be one of the highlights of my tournament.

I limped with 99 in EP and was the only caller to a button-raise. The flop is eight-high, rainbow, and I figure I'll checkraise. The button had other ideas, checking behind. The turn is an ace, which I hate to see, so now it seems like checking is again a good idea, for different reasons. And the button checks behind. The river is a queen, I can't find it in my gut to bet out, and check-fold.

Ok, a misplayed hand, but at least it didn't cost me much.

The foolishness was fun to watch, at least.

Four limpers for 50, and the SB jams for 1200. He's called by AQo, and his A6o is no good by the end of it.

Flop is J-T-2, two clubs. MP bets out, gets min-raised by the button. MP calls. Turn is the ace of clubs, they check. River is a small club, MP goes all-in for a slight overbet of the pot, AKo, no clubs, calls. MP has K5-clubs.

I hate min-raises.

The gamblor on my left doubles up on a flush draw, A4-spades against AJ. TPTK no good on the river.

Finally, a hand I can enjoy. Two EP limpers for 50, so I make it 200 with KK. Gamblor min-reraises to 350. I had 1300 at the start of the hand, so I figure I'll jam if anybody else calls. Nobody does, so I decide to smoothcall. I check the 9-high flop, Gamblor goes all-in, and I insta-call to see his A5-clubs. Well, he does have that pesky ace and a runner-runner draw to a straight or flush, but nothing arrives.

I love min-raises.

Gamblor then cracks aces with K6-clubs, two clubs on the flop, all-in, river club. Nobody sent me the memo that king-rag of clubs is GOLD.

I wish I could just summarize my exit to say that I ran into kings and busted out. That wouldn't be fair to the sheer stupidity I exhibited during the hand.

It's folded to me on the button with 77. With the BB at 60 and a stack of 2800, I raise to 200. The button reraises to 420. Huh? At the time, I thought it was a min-raise. (I hate those.) I didn't have much of a read on the reraiser. He wasn't playing too many hands, or super-tight or -aggressive.

Thinking "I'd like to flop a set", I call, and see J-J-T rainbow. He bet out 600. I thought it was a little weak, and raise to 1500. He jams, and has me covered. I can fold and sit on my 900+ (M of 10!), or call. I call, convincing myself as I'm clicking the 'call' button that I'll see AK.

I'm an idiot. I see KK. I'm out in 546th. If I ever brag about how I'm a smart/good poker player, I should be reminded of this hand.

Ok, so it's a dicey raise followed by a truly awful call. Wanting to punish myself, I looked at the math. Twodimes tells me that my sevens are a whopping 52.7% to beat AKo on that board.

I hope I got all of that dumb that outta my system.

Certainly, the next $26 tournament won't end so horribly. How could it?

(At this moment, it's the 2nd hour break, and factgirl is the only blogging survivor, in 38th with 131 remaining. Goooo facty!)

~~

On the upside, my girlfriend enjoyed our Valentine's day. And she wants to get some practice before the tourney I host on Sunday night - it sounded like she might actually play in this one, if she feels ready.