The Donkey-est (donkiest?) Call Ever

Here's an interesting hand for you. But first, a little background.

It's a $5, 10-person SnG on UB. GCox is lounging comfortably at my table, folding the trash and trouncing people with his premium holdings. It's six- or seven-handed at this point, and we've had the current BB yap about his poker knowledge. In short, he's the table expert. At a $5 table, oh yeah.

The table had been playing fairly passively, and I limp on the button with K3-clubs after two limpers, figuring I'll bet if it's checked to me on the flop. The BB Know-It-All pot-raises. He's done this at least three times now, each and every time it was his BB and it was limped around.

Clearly, he's playing the situation and his opponents now, and not his cards.

I call his raise, and see a flop that misses me entirely: 7-5-5, two spades. Predictably, the BB KIA pushes his stack in, almost a pot-sized bet. Insta-shove. This simply looks like an extension of his preflop move. "You're weak, I'm strong, you fold now."

I call.

No pair. No draw. King high. I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, that my hand has a strong chance of being best. That I'm about to call a huge bluff.

Know-It-All shows A8-spades. Nut draw semibluff. I have him covered by 2K with the BB at 60 (or I probably would've folded).

He saves his explosion for a split second, when that red three turns and the river bricks. EXPLODES in his righteous fury over the abomination that is Donkey Poker and the injustice that is Ultimate Bet. I have never been so berated.

Or amused. I just made the worst call I can ever remember making. With two cards to come, I'm 12% to win the hand.

I made a read, and stuck with it. It turned out to be horribly, horribly wrong. So often, the Donkey is screwing me. Now, I am the Donkey.

As a parting shot, I reminded him that I WANT people to call my all-ins with no pair, no draw. That he should be thanking me for such a bad call when it mattered most. I hope I came off as philosophical and not assholish.

A year ago, I would've never considered a call there. Because I was scared. Scared of being wrong. Scared of looking like a Poker Idiot in front of people (GCox among them).

So I did. I looked like a dunce. A Luckbox Without Equal. This is new to me, like I'm trying on a shirt I'm not sure I like.

But the ending was fun. NOBODY attempted to bluff me for the rest of the tourney. Well, maybe GCox threw some in there when we were headsup, but while shorthanded, I was given a very wide berth. I had the chiplead, and nobody wanted to test me to see what I'd call with next. They check, I bet, I take the pot. Good times.

I started heads-up with GCox having about a 2-1 chip advantage over me. There was some hand in there that put me comfortably in the lead (after many small skirmishes).

I raised on the button with the Hammer. The true, offsuit Hammer (I had folded a Suited Hammer face up earlier in the tourney). GCox pushed. I was getting just about the proper odds to call with any two, and called. The flop had a two, the turn and river didn't help G's unpaired hand, and it was over.

The Donkey had won. With the Hammer.

Long live Donkey Poker!!