Thursday, December 30, 2004


Ok, so my last two finishes at the PCS were disappointments (tenth and nineteenth, ugh), but I came home to some good news pokerwise. My check arrived safely in Canada (America Junior!) and my UltimateBet account was properly credited. So now I have real money to throw around online. I sent an email to the cashier (with member services cc'ed) asking if my first time deposit netted me (or Kevin) any bonus dollars.

What's the over-under on how long it takes me to blow through $300?

Just for kicks, my first update: $300 real, $291.25 bonus, 1875 UB pts.

(Edit: The following morning, UB threw 50 bonus dollars my way, and 100 to Kevin. $300 real, $341.25 bonus, 1875 pts)

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Alcohol is my co-pilot

I've been writing mundane things in this blog for a few weeks now. It wouldn't really be representative without a few (or several) drunk postings from me. So, this will be my first. I'm sober enough to correct most spelling mistakes, but drunk enough to type whatever the fuck I want.

Fuck Christmas. There, I said it. This goes out to all the fun-having, Beaver-Cleaver families out there. And especially those Motherfucker Chowchescou's that left me five dollars on Christmas Eve on a $105 bill. Fuck you in your non-English speaking, tight white asses. With a rake. Or a porcupine.

Fucking Christmas is partly my fault. Why? Because I didn't send out my gifts early enough. I don't suck so bad to ignore the holiday altogether, but I don't send things to arrive before 12/23, so it's only right that I have to wait til the new year to get anything I haven't bought for myself.

I decided to be a Hard Motherfucker this Christmas. I had a nice coworker, Will, invite me to his Christmas dinner, but I eventually declined. I had chores to do at my place, and frankly, I can barely tolerate my own family for several hours on end, even though the food is outstanding. I can't fight down my pride, as though I'm a homeless man that doesn't want to accept the charity of soup kitchen. Fucking democrats. Fuck pride. I decided I'd rather be a drunk guy in charge of my own destiny than a drunk guy several miles from home, thinking he's in charge of his own destiny. I have to work tomorrow afternoon, and I'll be damned if a silly thing like alcohol is gonna stop me from clocking in. Naturally, a silly thing like alcohol will definitely stop me from giving a shit, or waiting on people effectively.

Most humans should go.... oh, he had a horrible holiday, fashioned of his own doing. Naturally, that's the case. But, I'm also a degenerate gambler. I play more poker than anybody should. Personally, I'm pleased that my UB gambling this evening yielded 4 entries into 100-point holdem sit 'n goes.

I figured that only degenerate gamblers and alcoholic bitches would play online on Christmas. I was half right. I played in four sit 'n goes, and finished 1st, 5th, 1st, and 3rd. So, basically, I rock. Even if I'm rip fuckin hammered. Where's Jewel when you need sweet boobies?

So I'm the #2 ranked PCS player on pace for the championship, and I'm ripped, and I've got 1600 UB points, or more. Cuz I'm the miggity mack. Word!

#2, bitches. Recognizzle!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

I have a dream

Any discussion of my petty wants pales in comparision to the eloquence and historical significance of Dr. Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech. I've explained my wishes elsewhere, so it seems fair that I'll write them down here too.

I met Matt, Kida's friend from Vegas, and told him my pipe dream: By 2008, I want to finish in the money in a WSOP event. For 2005, I want to play my way into a WSOP event - hopefully the Main Event. Matt sounded amenable to a visit in late April/early May. I can't wait.

On the professional front, I'd like to be employed as a pharmaceutical sales rep by the time I turn 29 in March.

On the social front, having sex again sometime soon would be nice too. I hooked up on Saturday night, but no sex. Go me.

Bah Humbug

Once again, it's the holidays, and I'm cranky. I've known for weeks now that I'm going to be working on Christmas Eve. Business has been either insanely busy, or ghost-town dead. It would appear that our patrons are spending plenty on Christmas presents. And that there's no money leftover for tipping. Plenty of 12% and lower tips.

It couldn't be because everybody there doesn't want to be there. Or that everybody's swamped. Nah. Impossible.

The present I really want will probably show up the first week of January. My trip to the DMV on 12/10 went smoothly. My license should arrive from Sacramentucky pretty soon.

On the upside, the poker is going well. Two money finishes in the PCS, and a bubble-third in Buena Park. Another PCS tourney on Thursday, this time with Kida. I'm curious to see how his style fits the PCS. The PCS players bluff quite a bit, and Kida calls on hunches with very marginal hands.

I treated myself to some KEM cards at the last tourney. Now, my plan is to get a 1/8 inch pad and a huge square of felt for my poker table.

Monday, December 06, 2004

The Beginning

I finally sacked up. I am now an insured motorist, and 48-72 hours from now, the DMV will have my precious SR-22 form. On Friday, I'll be taking a fun trip to the DMV to get my license current.

After that, it's interview time!

The Victory Guinness

I'm home from the Sunday night tourney in Buena Park. Same cast of characters, nice wholesome fellows - Dave, Kida, "Tabletalk" Tommy, "One-Time" Juan, Mark The Lucky River Bastard, and Brandon.

I'm currently enjoying a victory Guinness. I'll write more about how stoked I am about my recent poker play later. First place tonight in the holdem tourney, and I put on an absolute clinic in pot-limit Omaha before and after.

Oooh... and I hope Kida wasn't kidding about wanting to hit up Vegas in May and try some WSOP qualifiers. He's got a friend there with couch space.

Thursday, December 02, 2004


A couple of small disappointments. First, McD is moving out at the end of the month. He got fired just a little while after he moved in. He's been interviewing a lot the last few weeks, and got a job with Nestle in Glendale. He'll be moving at the end of the month.

He's a good guy, and a good roommate. I hope I can find a decent replacement.

And there was no poker game tonight, at least not for money. Nobody showed, and Kida is broke. Dave and Kida liked my idea to play pot-limit Omaha for fun. We knocked off just before midnight, and Dave had 5000 to my 3700. I think he was getting the hang of when to bet and fold. I still think he'll get killed if he doesn't tighten up when it's more than three-handed.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Poker - "You never call that bet."

This evening, I'm going back to Dave's poker game in Buena Park. It's a fun game - I like those guys. They're good people, and pretty good poker players. They realized very quickly that they don't play like I do. "Captain Tight-ass", they call me. They are astounded when I fold my small blind, rather than call the minimum bet with just the big blind left to act. Naturally, I think I play just enough hands, and that they are way too generous when it comes to calling bets and raises.

Our last session could possibly have been a breakthrough for me. It was just 4 of us on Sunday, which is usually a tournament. They talked me into playing a cash game instead. Over the last two months, I have been "in the money" in 7 out of 11 tourneys, but my cash in/out ledger for cash games is in the red. In addition to that, I know that my tight-but-aggressive style is best suited to larger tables. In a table of 9, you need to be very selective in your starting hands. At a table of 4, you'll be waiting all night for good hands if you keep the same selection criteria. Two strikes against me - cash game and small table.

On Sunday, I was facing Dave, Tommy and Kida. Dave is the biggest bluffer of the group. If he's the preflop raiser, he'll throw some chips out there every betting round with no hand at all. It can get costly to call Dave all the way down if you're wrong. Tommy is the wild card. I love playing against him, as he will call bets and raises even when only a few cards in the deck will help him. I never fear when he's got a big stack of chips in front of him. Patience and smart play whittle him down. Kida, on the other hand, is probably the most dangerous player in the whole Buena Park crew. He is not afraid to raise anybody, sometimes without a hand to back up his aggression. He has no fear when he's on chip lead. He also knows I will fold if I think I'm the underdog. During one memorable session, he would not call my preflop raises. He would fold, or reraise me. After a few of these, I was a little disconcerted, and he kept doing it for the duration. After some thought, I realized I will have to go back over the top of him, probably with an all-in, to back him off.

The seminal moment came early in the evening, maybe the 4th hand. I held 87 offsuit, and the flop was 865, all different suits. I was in the hand with Kida, who was the preflop raiser. (Yes, I stood a raise with 87 offsuit. It was cheap, and these three raise with all kinds of hands.) I bet a modest amount in relation to the pot, a dollar I believe. Kida raised to $3. I called, believing Kida could have something like AK. He's bet like that in the past. Turn was a blank, a 2. Wanting to show Kida I wasn't taking a stab on the flop, I bet another dollar. He went over the top of me, all-in. We play a $10 buy-in game, so I think I had another $5 and change to call.

Something about the situation was a little odd to me. I just knew he didn't have an overpair to the board. I figured my call might be a loose and reckless, but if I hit another 8, I'd have trips. A 9 or a 4 also made me a straight. Ten outs to make the best hand, if I didn't already have it. And I thought it was time to take a chance for once, just to show them that I could.

So I called, and the look on Kida's face was priceless. But was even more important was his comment. "What?!? How can you call that? You never call that bet." And he actually had me beat, with two pair, 6's and 5's, though I could tell he expected me to fold and win the pot before the river card. But the river card was a 4, making my 8-high straight the best hand.

That I made the call wasn't good poker. Even with 10 outs, I was a huge underdog, less than a 25% chance to make my hand with one card to come (though I wasn't aware I had three more outs, with another 2 making my two pair higher than his, 29% for me to win). It was important because it showed the guys that I was trying to change my predictable table image - that I wouldn't always fold under the pressure of huge raises, even when I had a weak hand.

And the fun part - I kept them off-balance all evening. I called Dave and Tommy down to the river, more than once each, when I had a decent hand and the other was bluffing the whole way. I also made a few bets on the river, holding absolute bupkis, and scooped 3 or 4 pots that I would not have won in a showdown. I was the preflop raiser with KQ suited, and nothing hit, but I kept betting at it. Just when I was about to cut my losses, my river bet won me the pot. And the hand I showed everybody was 85 suited. I put in a bet on the turn, when I had an open-ended straight draw and a flush draw. The river didn't help me, leaving me with an 8-high. My river bet won it, and I was so pleased I couldn't help but flip them over as I stacked the chips.

We had $70 in play between the four of us; I bought in for $10, and the other three bought in, then had to rebuy once each. I cashed out for $42, a huge chunk of the pie. I like those guys, but I don't want them to be able to predict what I'm going to do so easily.