Alcohol is my co-pilot

I've been writing mundane things in this blog for a few weeks now. It wouldn't really be representative without a few (or several) drunk postings from me. So, this will be my first. I'm sober enough to correct most spelling mistakes, but drunk enough to type whatever the fuck I want.

Fuck Christmas. There, I said it. This goes out to all the fun-having, Beaver-Cleaver families out there. And especially those Motherfucker Chowchescou's that left me five dollars on Christmas Eve on a $105 bill. Fuck you in your non-English speaking, tight white asses. With a rake. Or a porcupine.

Fucking Christmas is partly my fault. Why? Because I didn't send out my gifts early enough. I don't suck so bad to ignore the holiday altogether, but I don't send things to arrive before 12/23, so it's only right that I have to wait til the new year to get anything I haven't bought for myself.

I decided to be a Hard Motherfucker this Christmas. I had a nice coworker, Will, invite me to his Christmas dinner, but I eventually declined. I had chores to do at my place, and frankly, I can barely tolerate my own family for several hours on end, even though the food is outstanding. I can't fight down my pride, as though I'm a homeless man that doesn't want to accept the charity of soup kitchen. Fucking democrats. Fuck pride. I decided I'd rather be a drunk guy in charge of my own destiny than a drunk guy several miles from home, thinking he's in charge of his own destiny. I have to work tomorrow afternoon, and I'll be damned if a silly thing like alcohol is gonna stop me from clocking in. Naturally, a silly thing like alcohol will definitely stop me from giving a shit, or waiting on people effectively.

Most humans should go.... oh, he had a horrible holiday, fashioned of his own doing. Naturally, that's the case. But, I'm also a degenerate gambler. I play more poker than anybody should. Personally, I'm pleased that my UB gambling this evening yielded 4 entries into 100-point holdem sit 'n goes.

I figured that only degenerate gamblers and alcoholic bitches would play online on Christmas. I was half right. I played in four sit 'n goes, and finished 1st, 5th, 1st, and 3rd. So, basically, I rock. Even if I'm rip fuckin hammered. Where's Jewel when you need sweet boobies?

So I'm the #2 ranked PCS player on pace for the championship, and I'm ripped, and I've got 1600 UB points, or more. Cuz I'm the miggity mack. Word!

#2, bitches. Recognizzle!!!!!!!!