Picking Back Up

So February and March have come and gone, without a post to this blog. Things have happened, a few of them good things. I'll start with the important ones.

My dad would now appear to be on the other side of his cancer diagnosis with a clean bill of health. He had the tumor cut out of his tongue, spent some time in hospital, healed up, starting talking normally again, and took a cruise to Egypt with my stepmom. And he knows I love him.

I quit my job at Steak Restaurant. The new management decided, after some deliberation, that they would prefer to go forward with me as a server, not a bartender. Bartending there was the only thing that was keeping me there, as the restaurant rapidly went into the shitter after the new management tried to fix the old mistakes, creating a multiplicity of new ones. I have a college degree (chemistry!), three years of field sales experience... it's long since time I got a "real" job.

I spent a weekend bartending at the Nissan Senior's Open in Newport Beach, which was pretty sweet - greenside at the 18th and 17th holes on Saturday and Sunday, respectively. I spent the following weekend in Vegas with Gordo and Poison. My first time meeting Gordo, and the guy gives me Guinness and buys a fuckin' UNC t-shirt cuz his shirts are dirty and we're gonna watch hoops in the Sports Book? That guy's more than OK in my book.

I have another of what I call "freelance bartending" assignments coming up. $25/hr plus any tips at a wedding on Wednesday? If you're reading this, thanks TonyD!

And yes, I'm aware it's a very bad thing to quit a job when you don't have another waiting for you. The guys at my poker game have told me I could be bartending/serving (50/50) at A Different Steak Restaurant. I love the offer, but I have a hunch I shouldn't be in that line of work anymore.

I'm a funk. I don't think it's depression so much as being frozen. My life needs to change, to move somewhere... but I DON'T KNOW WHERE. There's a bunch of things I could do, but what do I want to do, and why am I so afraid of starting... and failing?